How to Host a Child
Tips for the uninitiated
Greetings dear reader from the Other Side of Exhaustion,
Mike and I are fresh off a week of hosting my six year old niece, Pepper. We don’t have our own kids and this was most definitely the most time either has spent in charge of one. Here are some things we learned!
Preparation
This was Pepper’s longest time away from her house in her whole life! Her mom (my sister, hi Heather!) made sure in advance to talk to her about what to do if she missed mommy and daddy (call them) or if she felt sad or scared (cuddle Laura and Mike). She never seemed anything but excited for the trip so we weren’t too worried.
On our end, we prepared by overthinking the sleeping arrangements — should we give her our room and we sleep in the living room? Put her in Mike’s office? Move us all to my studio? We ended up putting a little bed beside our bed and it worked really well. She was close to us but we all had our own space.
Stuffwise, we really didn’t need to get too much: a bathroom stool to reach the taps, juice boxes, milk and goldfish crackers.
The one major thing we did was clear our calendar. More than anything, she needed time and attention. I think the visit would have been wayyyy less fun if we were trying to get much else done. Parents, as always, I salute you.
A special welcome
Pepper’s whole family dropped her off and stayed the first night. This was in part so she could acclimatize, and in part so her little sister Violet (who is still in daycare and not yet subject to the summer childcare scramble) could at least spend some time with us and hopefully not feel too left out
Preparing to welcome them was SO FUN FOR ME. The whole fam was staying in my studio, which has this Ikea daybed thing that can become two twin beds, or be strapped together to form a king (I cannot recommend this thing enough, all in it was less $500 and is a life saver for hosting) I wanted a little wow factor when they arrived, so I made the beds up special with matching sheets and heart duvets (twin summer duvets are only $10 at Ikea?? They look like the padding an appliance would come wrapped in, but once you get them in a cover, they’re actually great)
We got two little stuffies (Wolfy and Foxy) and some kids’ books at a yard sale and left them on the beds. I also found them some insane matching Troll dance costumes (thank you thrift gods) and put those in bedside gift bags.
You never know how kids are going to react — maybe they think it’s special or maybe they throw a fit because they’re road-tired and don’t like pink hearts anymore as of now. You gotta enjoy the process for yourself and let go of any expectation of their response. That being said, they fricking LOVED the beds more than I would have hoped and Pepper asked me a million adorable questions about how I pulled it off.
All in all the duvets, covers, books, stuffies and outfits cost maybe $80. It was so worth it to mark the beginning of her stay and set the tone that we were prepared to take care of her and excited to have fun!
A dresser of one’s own
Living out of a suitcase sucks. If I’m staying somewhere for more than a night or two, I want to unpack! It was important to me that Pep have her own place for all her little things. Mike and I just re-did his office, and one of the many small pieces of storage furniture that we were getting rid of was a three drawer nightstand that seemed like a perfect little dresser.
Once her family left, our first order of business was to help Pepper personalize it. Unprompted, she told us she wanted a “spring theme,” so we pulled out the paint markers and got to it. In addition to being fun and making her feel like she and her things belong at our apartment, this killed at least an hour, which I soon learned is a lot.
Structure and flexibility
As we painted the dresser, we talked to Pepper about the coming week and what to expect. I told her that just like at home, she would have her bath at 7:30 and be in bed for books and cuddles by 8. I told her that Mike and I write in our journals in the morning and gave her a little one of her own. I fully pictured her drawing quietly beside us while we had our coffees and did our morning pages.
L. O. L!!!
The only night I tried to get her in bed for her regular bedtime was that first one. We did the routine (turns out bath toys are non-negotiable!) and got in bed and read and then she talked, so fast, about so much, for a full hour. She insisted she was not tired and wouldn’t fall asleep. I insisted she eventually would. At 9:30pm we got up and watched Boss Baby and had a snack lol.
I’m a lifelong night owl and it honestly just didn’t make sense to put her to bed early and then have to get up early! We fell into our own routine of bed by 10 after a movie. Half the nights I passed out beside her, the other half I snuck out once she was asleep and worked on a scrapbook of her visit. This way she always slept past 8am and no one (me) lost their mind from exhaustion.
Full day activities
I am homebody. I am extremely good at entertaining myself. I sort of expected that journalling, making paintings and playing with the dollhouse would fill a whole day. Silly Auntie Laura! It was clear by the end of day one that this was going to be a lonnnnng week if we only had a couple big outings planned.
So, Day 2 we packed up for a beach day. Pepper had told me that she hadn’t had a summer vacation yet because a vacation is at the beach. Lucky for us all, we are a ten minute walk over the highway from what we affectionately refer to as Garbage Beach.
We spent hours there! She wanted to build a sandcastle, but I didn’t get my hopes up that she would have the same level of attention for this type of activity as I do (I mean, it’s basically a dollhouse I could do it forever) but WOW I was wrong. We scoured the beach for treasures (garbage) to decorate our kingdom. She was thrilled by the concept of sea glass (“the water makes it soft? I’m just learning about this!”) and collected it with surprising patience.
The next day we went to the Art Gallery of Ontario (wasn’t into it, too boring) which turned into a meandering tour of Chinatown which she LOVED. We had dinner on a patio where she immediately spilled a whole glass of ice water onto her lap. I thought for sure the day was over but she didn’t complain about it once. Just enjoyed wandering into shops, getting snacks, seeing the sights, riding the streetcar. We got 12k steps together!
Another day we tried the Royal Ontario Museum. She liked any interactive element and using the open spaces as a stage for her insane dance moves. At one point she gave us a guided tour of some exhibits and you might be surprised to learn that most of the Chinese collection is “from Italy.”
It was actually really nice for me to be forced out and about in Toronto like this, seeing it through her eyes, and being pulled onward by her energy and curiosities.
Commemoration
I made Pepper a little scrapbook of her visit. I had thought we would work on it together throughout the week but she was maybe 1/80th as committed to it as I was (fair enough). I certainly do not think this level of commemoration is necessary to top off a child’s visit, but I do think a little keepsake is nice if you have the mental or financial means. She has only just turned six. She already doesn’t remember huge things from 2 years ago. I wanted her to have a way to show her little sister and the rest of her family what she did all week, and a way to look forward to next year when we hopefully have them both!
Plus, I was totally brain dead at the end of each day and this was a fun way to reflect and feel like I was doing something productive.
All in all, my advice for hosting a 6 year old child would be:
Include them in the conversation about how the time will be spent.
Follow their interests as they arise.
Don’t expect to do much else
Plan to be bone tired for 2 days after, no matter how manageable it feels throughout!
It was an incredible experience. I feel weirdly accomplished. She only cried 3 times, briefly: once she missed her mom, once she got her pyjama sleeve wet while watering the plants, and once she found a PERFECTLY heart shaped rock on the beach but then the sand stole it back. We made a missing poster in her sketchbook to remember it by.
We miss her! It was an honour and a privilege to be entrusted with something so precious and we’re looking forward to doing it again, hopefully for the rest of her childhood!
As always, thank you for reading (and responding and liking and commenting)
Your humble servant,
Auntie
PS I posted my six week autumn workshops! AND I FINALLY ADDED GIFT CARDS FOR CLASSES! You can buy them on my class page through that link
this is so sweet and inspiring! I daydream about hosting my nephews when they're older: building birdhouses, going fishing, making s'mores!
Can I be your niece?